Box turtle stands on hand

Day 270: Box Turtle Wants UP

Follow Pearl, Malti & Bruce

Never miss a daily adventure!

Join 2,507 other subscribers

Only a small percentage of beings get lucky enough to emerge from the small round escape pods wearing shells.

The moment you notice you have one, this is how you know you are very cute.

It is also how you can know you are very short.

Sure, you will eventually “grow up”….at least by an inch or few. But you will still have to work very hard to spot the lady turtles, since they are quite short too.

One good way to overcome this is by hiring a large shell-less assistant, since they are very large and very tall.

Once you have selected your assistant and trained them (never an easy or a quick process), they can lift you straight up so you can scour the terrain and scope out the lady turtles.

Talk about getting a leg up on the evolutionary competition!

Training your assistant to lift you up is always going to have to rely on “non-verbal communication.” Here, is where your innate cuteness will really come in handy.

To get started, first just gaze up at her intently with your round whirling red eyes.

Box turtle stands on hand
Step 1: Open your round red whirling eyes wide and gaze up at your rescue mama.

This will capture her attention completely. But be sure to break eye contact after a moment or two or she may faint dead away, taking you with her!

Box turtle stands on hand
Step 2: You won’t want to keep direct eye contact too long or your assistant-in-training will faint away from “cuteness overload.”

After she has had a moment to regain her bearings, you can once again make direct eye contact and look straight UP. This means you want to go UP.

Box turtle stands on hand
Step 3: Look straight UP. UP means UP. Give your assistant some time to make the connection. Warning: she may need a lot of time.

No one ever said training a large shell-less assistant would be easy. They faint easily and often. “Non-verbal communication” is not their strong suit.

Yet they are slavishly devoted to beings with shells and they are very tall.

And ultimately, making very cute box turtle eggs that look exactly like you is worth the effort!

What do you think of Bruce’s plan to scope for lady box turtles?

2 comments

Send Pearl, Malti & Bruce a message! :-)