When you are small and cute and have feathers or a shell, hordes of fans tend to just assemble themselves.

This makes your job easy. All you have to do is sit back and try not to stare too hard when yet another fainting VIP fan collapses in front of you (if they happen to fall on top of a lurking paparazzi, even better).

Since you are so busy greeting fans and avoiding paparazzi, it is usually best to get an assistant to answer your fan mail. For instance, the doting and devoted large featherless, shell-less being that lives in your house with you is a very good choice.

Email Pearl, Malti & Bruce (or their mama):
shannon @

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