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There is no doubt the large shell-less beings mean well.
Yours, for instance, really wants to make sure you get plenty of exercise, fresh food, play time and shell scratches (not to mention restful naps).
But there is one thing that will forever separate you and your assistant. She gets repeatedly hung up on this concept called “later.”
As every shelled being knows, “now” is always the best time. It is the best time for naps. The best time for shell scratches. And definitely the best time for snacks.
For example, let’s say you are just starting to notice your grumbling belly when your assistant brings home a very fresh, bright green, vibrant zucchini plant.
You can tell by the way your assistant tucks it into its new spot in your backyard play area that she is having visions of “later” again.
So you wait (barely) until she turns her attention to planting something else. Then you head on over and….presto! No more zucchini plant!
Luckily, the zucchini was immortalized in a brief but gripping re-enactment drama….RIP $6 organic zucchini plant. You will be missed.