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As one well-known cold-blooded being so famously said, “it is not easy being green.”
Of course, if being green is difficult, try being red!
For starters, red is the official color of chefs everywhere – on account of how it always makes you hungry.
So that means snacks are always on your mind. All it takes is one glimpse of your own adorable red-dotted feet and suddenly your cute tortoise tummy is rumbling yet again.
Then you have to drop whatever you were doing (resting, napping, snoring, snoozing) and head out to scrounge up some victuals to fill your empty belly.
Inevitably, this lands you at the feet of your slavishly devoted but somewhat slow on the uptake large shell-less assistant. Often she thinks you are just visiting to hang out and pose for glamour shots.
Getting the first green treats out of her can take some maneuvering.
But once there is a steady supply flowing, arranging some of them photogenically on your precious red-dotted body can a) remind her why you are there and b) give her something to do in between hand-feeding you delicacies.