When you are little and have feathers (and have always been little and have always had feathers) you tend to look like “prey” to, well, nearly everything.

In this case, it just makes sense to hire a large featherless bodyguard.

Being neither small nor cute, and not having any feathers at all (poor dears), the large featherless beings are always eager to be around you anyway….so might as well put them to work.

As an added benefit, a featherless bodyguard is very cheap – they will work for the privilege of mucking out your cage, feeding you, scratching your neck feathers, kissing your soft feathery belly, and simply being in your very cute presence.

You can let your featherless bodyguard know you need assistance by shrieking, biting, hanging upside down like a bat, flapping forcefully, pooping, flinging things, staring, or all of the above (this approach works best when it is urgent).

Author: Shannon Cutts
Co-Author: Pearl Cutts