Day 202: Cockatiel Asks “What Would .007 Do?”

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As a famous and feathery actor, you can’t live life like ordinary folks.

For instance, you can’t just walk down to the store for a snack whenever you please.

At least not unless you feel like hanging out with the paparazzi all the way there and all the way back.

So you have to get creative about getting your needs met.

In this unusual one-avian play, truth and fiction meet in some pretty startling ways.

Love & Feathers (& Shells) is proud to present Pearl Cutts in his latest hit drama:

“What Would .007 Do?”

The title for this play is so enticing it draws fans from near and surprisingly far. Taking inspiration from the playbill photos of the star posing next to a large translucent bag, the fans have once again arrived in costume.

It is a bit of an odd sight, with the line forming around the block and each aspiring ticket holder wearing his or her own custom-fitted plastic bag.

Unfortunately, it is the height of the summer season, and those plastic bags soon begin to get quite airless and hot.

As a result, box office staff can barely find time to sell out the show, what with all the fainting would-be ticket holders who need resuscitating. 

Well I’ll say – what have we here? Fresh millet? Don’t mind if I do!
Uh oh. I hear the telltale sound of a herd of large featherless paparazzi headed this way.
There’s no rest for the famous and feathery…..unless…..
In times like these, I always like to ask myself, “What would .007 do?”
I think the answer here is, um, clear…. .007 would hide!

The curtain abruptly snaps shut to thunderous applause…or at least it would be thunderous if it wasn’t so muffled by the matching plastic gloves each fan is wearing to complement their plastic bag costumes.

The End.

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2 comments

  1. I was stunned by the authenticity of the performance. Pearl has reached new heights in his acting career. My new motto is WWPD hoping I can, even briefly, see a solution as quickly as Pearl. BTW, I poked air holes in my plastic wrap so I didn’t faint and got a front row seat. Close enough to get some feather dust in my hair!

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