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From the outside in, life as a famous and feathery celebrity seems so posh and perfect.
You are celebrated and sought-after. Everyone wants to take selfies with you (and no one minds when you outshine them again and again).
You wake up every day to stacks of fan mail and piles of gifts.
Of course, some of those gifts can be kind of strange, to say the least.
As an internationally-known actor (who just so happens to have an alleged oh-so-super-secret second identity as a certain pint-sized super spy), you have to know which gifts you can take at face value and which gifts need….questioning.
Love & Feathers & Shells is proud to present famous and feathery actor Pearl Cutts in his latest one-avian play:
“Animal Crackers for Cockatiels”
On opening day of the new play, local law enforcement is already getting noise complaint calls hours before the box office even opens!
It is all the crunching, the callers explain. As the officers arrive, they can easily see the issue: VIP fans dressed up like animal cracker boxes are standing in an increasingly long line. To while away the time, they are quite happily crunching and munching their way through handfuls of animal crackers. The sound carries for miles.
Not sure how to handle such an….unusual….noise complaint, the officers linger at the scene to confer. By this time, lunchtime has rolled round. The officers start to get hungry.
Soon, the noise complaints are being routed through to district headquarters, on account of how the local precinct has stopped answering its line.
When the district sends a supervisor to investigate, it is discovered that all the local precinct officers have joined the line, happily crunching and munching away on animal crackers with all the rest.
[Play pauses at the sound of loud crunching.]
As the famous and feathery actor continues his crunching….er, interrogation, the mysterious large featherless being known only as “Mom” sets about closing up the investigation as the curtain snaps shut.
What did you think of Pearl's new one-avian play?
(hint: he loves 5-feather reviews:)