Animal crackers cockatiel 5

Day 235: Animal Crackers for Cockatiels

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From the outside in, life as a famous and feathery celebrity seems so posh and perfect.

You are celebrated and sought-after. Everyone wants to take selfies with you (and no one minds when you outshine them again and again).

You wake up every day to stacks of fan mail and piles of gifts.

Of course, some of those gifts can be kind of strange, to say the least.

As an internationally-known actor (who just so happens to have an alleged oh-so-super-secret second identity as a certain pint-sized super spy), you have to know which gifts you can take at face value and which gifts need….questioning.

Love & Feathers & Shells is proud to present famous and feathery actor Pearl Cutts in his latest one-avian play:

“Animal Crackers for Cockatiels”ย 

On opening day of the new play, local law enforcement is already getting noise complaint calls hours before the box office even opens!

It is all the crunching, the callers explain. As the officers arrive, they can easily see the issue: VIP fans dressed up like animal cracker boxes are standing in an increasingly long line. To while away the time, they are quite happily crunching and munching their way through handfuls of animal crackers. The sound carries for miles.

Not sure how to handle such an….unusual….noise complaint, the officers linger at the scene to confer. By this time, lunchtime has rolled round. The officers start to get hungry.

Soon, the noise complaints are being routed through to district headquarters, on account of how the local precinct has stopped answering its line.

When the district sends a supervisor to investigate, it is discovered that all the local precinct officers have joined the line, happily crunching and munching away on animal crackers with all the rest.

Animal Crackers Cockatiel 1
Well aren’t you….odd. Can’t say I’ve ever seen beings quite like you before.
Animal Crackers Cockatiel 2
You are “animal crackers,” you say? And you are a gift for me from a slavishly devoted large featherless fan? Hmmm.
Animal crackers cockatiel 3
And I say – I can’t make out what kind of animals you are. Bison? Walrus? Guinea pig? Please tell me you taste better than you look.
Animal crackers cockatiel 4
Well how can you all be the same flavor when you are different animals? Obviously there is only one way to clear up this mystery.

[Play pauses at the sound of loud crunching.]

Animal crackers cockatiel 5
Yes, “Mom?” These arrived for me this morning. They say they are “animal crackers” and they are a gift for me. I am conducting my investigation now. No, I don’t need any backup.
Animal crackers cockatiel 6
Well, “Mom,” I’m still not convinced they are animals, on account of how no one can tell me their name, rank or serial number. And they are not very tasty. But they do make a satisfying crunching sound and they are quite fling-able. I’d say the threat level is minimal. Yes, you can close this investigation.

As the famous and feathery actor continues his crunching….er, interrogation, the mysterious large featherless being known only as “Mom” sets about closing up the investigation as the curtain snaps shut.

The End.

What did you think of Pearl's new one-avian play? 
(hint: he loves 5-feather reviews:)

6 comments

  1. As the large featherless assistant, dedicated to the health and well being of your super-star, super-spy, super- Pearl, I really think you should have offered to taste test them first to make sure they were OK for his Superness to eat. If you want, I will volunteer to take on that dangerous job for you. Of course that includes all of Small Tree’s offerings. ๐Ÿ™‚

    • You bring up an excellent point. Clearly it is time for (yet another) large featherless assistant training refresher course. And it is obvious the assistant could use an assistant so…you’re hired! ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. Bravo! Another fascinating and entertaining theatrical masterpiece! Pearl, I cannot help but ask: how long have you been an actor? I cannot imagine it took much time for you to go from unknown feathery actor to superstardom. I’d be surprised if it took longer than overnight. Looking forward to more excellent one-avian plays.

    • Five-feather reviews from treasured VIP fans are the BEST! Pearl is already hard at work on his next hit one-avian play. The paparazzi was already gathered around before he was even out of his round white escape pod – when you’ve got it, you’ve got it. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  3. Sounds like you are making a lot of noise crunching on your animal crackers Pearl. Keep on crunching Pearl & have a nice day my sweet little guy ๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ’œ๐ŸŒป

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