Day 342: The Lettuce Offensive

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Each fall, many featherless beings begin gathering in large groups around an equally large rectangular flashing thing.

The good news is, they serve lots of crunchy, crispy snacks – exactly the sort you most enjoy.

The bad news is, they can get kind of rowdy. And (frankly) loud.

Worst of all, they always watch the same boring program.

In this program, a bunch of costumed featherless beings run around, jump on each other, and attempt to catch a strangely-shaped wingless (yet quite aerodynamic) object.

However, you have picked up one valuable insight from their odd obsession….which is the concept of the “offensive.”

A “defensive,” of course, is where you guard what you have when predators try to take it away.

With an “offensive,” however, you are the one doing the taking – perfect when you are a born predator anyway.

I recognize this. Sometimes Mom likes to feed it to the shelled being. I think I will go on the "offensive" and claim it for myself.
I recognize this. Sometimes Mom likes to feed what’s inside to the small shelled being. I think I will go on the “offensive” and claim it for myself.
I'll start by explaining how this will go.
I’ll start by explaining to you how this will go.
It will go easier for you if you don't struggle.
First, it will go easier for you if you don’t struggle.
Just surrender nice and and easy and no one gets hurt.
Now, just surrender nice and and easy and no one gets hurt.
Do you understand your role as I have explained it to you?
Do you understand your role as I have explained it to you?
Nod if you understand.
Nod if you understand.

Author: Shannon Cutts
Co-Author: Pearl Cutts

Watch & Listen: Pearl & his mommy read from “Love & Feathers”

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Published by Shannon Cutts

Cockatiel, redfoot tortoise and box turtle mama. Author, writer, pet & people blogger.

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