Thursday Thriller: Pearl Cutts in “Popcorn Consulting”

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While it is true that there are many, many, many beings in the world, there are some skills that only a very few of those beings know how to do.

Because of this, it is sometimes necessary to get on a waiting list to apply for a few valuable minutes of these beings’ time.

When they are finally available, you’d better be too, because otherwise they are on to the next crisis! Speaking of which….

This week, Love & Feathers is proud to present the world-famous and feathery actor Pearl Cutts in his latest one-avian play:

“Popcorn Consulting”

As the audience waits for the theater doors to open, they can distinctly hear an odd “popping” sound echoing faintly throughout the lobby.

Soon, a delicious scent begins to waft in their direction. Just then the doors swing open and everyone rushes in with watering mouths and grumbling tummies.

Just before the curtain opens, the MC issues a stern reminder to the audience: no fainting, no talking, no photographs and absolutely no stomach rumbling is allowed. Also, no drooling on the seats (at this, a few theatergoers can be seen rummaging hastily through their bags in search of tissues).

As the curtain parts at last, the origin of the odd “popping” noises and the delectable odor becomes clear.

Hello. You’ve been on my waiting list for some time? What seems to be the trouble?
Hellloooooo!! Look, I know I’m cute, but now is not a good time to faint. Speak now or solve the crisis yourself.
Ahh. So let me make sure I understand the dilemma. You all want to be my afternoon snack and you can’t decide who gets to go first?
Yes, well, you’ve definitely come to the right place. I can help you with that.
What’s that? Each one of you wants a photograph with me right before you go “down the hatch?” Welllll…….

At this point, the rest of the dialogue becomes increasingly indistinct, replaced by the sound of vigorous crunching.

Suddenly, the unmistakable sound of stomach rumbling can be heard. It is coming from the audience. The curtain snaps shut, the house lights flood the theater, and the MC directs everyone to exit to the lobby. 

As the last theatergoers are departing, ushers wearing jackets labeled “Drool Patrol” can be seen moving towards the rows of seats. Each usher is carrying a large mop.

The. End.


Shannon & Pearl

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Published by Shannon Cutts

Animal sensitive and intuitive with Animal Love Languages. Parrot, tortoise and box turtle mama. Dachshund auntie.

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