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To say any being is “perfect” clearly implies only one thing – either they have feathers, or they are toasted and their name begins with a “W.”
So when a trusted advisor (such as your personal Small Chef, aka Grandma) tells you that she has discovered a perfect being that meets neither criteria , this is definitely a claim in need of investigating.
And since “perfection” is a very high goal indeed, only the most highly trained and covert of “black ops” investigators can handle the case…say, for example, .007, pint-sized super spy.
Of course, when investigating any case, and particularly such a sensitive one as this, it is important to maintain a cover identity that could trick the being under investigation into revealing the truth (otherwise, if you just walk up and announce you are .007, they might freeze with fear and admit to anything just to get you to go away!).
On that note, Love & Feathers is proud to present the world-famous and feathery actor Pearl Cutts in his latest one-avian play:
“The ‘Perfect’ Pancake”
There is a large, flat white platform on the stage when the curtain opens. On top of this platform is an odd looking being.
The audience, many of whom are still jostling and jockeying with one another for the best seats, plunk down wherever they are as soon as they see this.
As the star strides towards the white platform, a few latecomers faint in the aisle, freeing up the remaining seats so the ushers can sit and enjoy the play.
Suddenly, the dialogue (which was clearly going nowhere anyway) is replaced with the sounds of vigorous chomping.
The mysterious featherless being .007 addresses as “Grandma” nods her head knowingly. She then reveals that this was really a test – a training op designed to ensure that .007’s perfect palate was still, well, perfect.
At that point, mission successfully completed, .007 scampers up her arm and they head off together in search of a toaster and a perfect snack that starts with a “W.”
Shannon & Pearl