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It is a well-known fact that hiring a large featherless assistant comes with both “pros” and “cons.”
On the “pros” side, you get catered meals, unlimited neck feather scratches, slavish devotion and even your own blog.
On the “cons” side – the large featherless beings know nothing (zero, zilch, squat) about personal space.
Even if everything – absolutely everything – about your relative demeanor, body language, and highly evolved non-verbal communication skills says “this seat’s taken,” guess who will still want to come over and sit down right. beside. you.
As you get better at figuring out what sorts of training commands your assistant is most likely to respond to, you may try all sorts of strategies to gain a little breathing room.
Take napping, for instance.
Of course, even the most time-honored strategies are not guaranteed to work. If there is one strategy you want to stay away from, however, it is “cuteness.” That one will backfire each and every time.
As a last resort, you can try enforcing ownership. One good way is to post your (fetching, feathery) photograph right on your seating area.
When all else fails, and it is clear the whole idea of “personal space” is a figment of your imagination, just go back to focusing on the “pros” and remembering why you ever decided to hire a large featherless personal assistant.
Waffles. Loads and loads of your grandmother’s waffles.
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