In “black ops,” a discipline known to all super-secret spies (regardless of size or species), there are two kinds of takeovers.
Hostile and non-hostile.
The first kind is generally only seen among the large featherless beings, on account of how they have no feathers and, well, for many other reasons besides.
The second kind is preferred but much more challenging.
Firstly, you need to have feathers. Secondly, you need “cuteness” (see “firstly” for more details about this).
Thirdly, it really helps if you can wait until you are hungry to ensure your target will be super-fresh – and thus worth taking over.
In this signature one-avian play, famed and feathery actor Pearl Cutts appears as everyone’s favorite (totally fictitious of course) pint-sized super spy, .007, to show the fans how it is done.
Love & Feathers (& Shells) is proud to present Pearl Cutts in:
“Non-Hostile Pasta Takeover”
There is no nice way to say it – plates of pasta do not make for an easy costume.
For starters, pasta is very slippery. It slips and slides around everywhere, causing all but the most sure-footed fans (and these fans are not what you’d call sure-footed) to slip and slide along with it.
Plus, it doesn’t help that the box office opens just before the dinner hour, which results in some not-so-minor skirmishes when some of the fans get hungry and begin slurping up others’ costume accessories!
Luckily the theater doors finally swing open right before the situation gets hostile indeed.
By this time many of the fainting fans are beginning to stir. As word spreads that .007 is doing an official “VIP fan photo” with the bowl of like-attired suspects, they start making their slipping and sliding way towards the stage.
The large featherless theater security staff, never quick on the uptake, realizes what is happening only just before the fans rush the stage and snaps the curtain shut.
Whew.
The End.
How did you like the play? Pearl encourages you to send him all your (5-feather) reviews!
Wonderful performance. Haven’t seen such dramatic intensity since Vivien Leigh raised her fist to heaven and swore never to be hungry again. And the professional, subtle application of pasta bits to beak is phenomenol. Kudos to Pearl.
Another exciting five feather review to make Pearl’s day (and his doting mama’s!)