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Day 33: The “Double Handfed”

We parronts quickly get used to the unsubtle nuances of our parrot’s preferences.

Demands.

Permanent standing orders.

For instance, there is such a thing as “handfed breakfast.”

This is when the breakfasting parrot consumes that morning’s gourmet selection (comprised solely of “I eat better than you do” items) while you are holding them in front of his beak.

On the traditional “star rating” system, this rates as about a “3 star” breakfast experience (with a “1 star” being when the parrot in question actually has to ingest his own breakfast out of his own bowl inside his own cage – gasp!)

For a “4 star” breakfast rating, the only thing for it is to hold the breakfast buffet while your parrot is sitting on the hand that is holding it.

A “5 star” rating, of course, brings us to the “double handfed” – a complex culinary maneuver requiring you as the parront to hold the buffet in one hand while your parrot sits on the other hand (ensuring you can do absolutely nothing else but stand there and watch your parrot eat until he is totally full).

Mom's definitely getting a "5 star" rating for this breakfast.
Mom’s definitely getting a “5 star” rating for this breakfast.
That is, as long as she's still watching and not trying to sneak doing something else while I eat.
That is, as long as she’s still watching and not trying to sneak doing something else while I eat.
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