Day 351: Becoming a Large Featherless Assistant

The large featherless assistant here.

With a very cute and pretty celebrity charge who is continually in the limelight, sometimes interested parties inquire about job openings.

Specifically, they want to know what it will take for them to transition into a career as a large featherless assistant.

My words of advice are simple.

Being a large featherless assistant is not for everyone.

For starters, it is a demanding (think 24/7) job.

You must always be “on” – tuned in to the subtlest nuances of your tiny client’s needs.

Comfort with “straightforward” communications is a must.

And if you startle easily (especially in the presence of sudden, loud, high-pitched sounds) this is not the role for you.

Part parent, part photographer, part press secretary, part administrative assistant, part personal chef, part masseuse, part groomer, part manager, part protector, part bodyguard, and part fellow adventurer, no two days are ever the same in the life of a large featherless assistant.

But for that singular individual with the right background, skills, interests, personality, and qualifications, there is quite simply no career more fulfilling.

As a fellow adventurer, you and your charge will explore new lands together.
As a fellow adventurer, you and your charge will explore new lands together.
As protector, you will ensure your small feathery client receives the best medical care.
As protector, you will ensure your small feathery client receives the best medical care.
As photographer and press secretary, you will be in charge of capturing and sharing precious moments for fans and the media.
As photographer and press secretary, you will be in charge of capturing and sharing precious (and very photogenic) moments for fans and the media.
As manager, you will ensure your charge's rare talent is recognized and rewarded.
As manager, you will ensure your charge’s rare talent is recognized and rewarded.
When it is time for ladybirds, you will make sure your manly manbird has everything he needs for effective "wooing."
When it is time for ladybirds, you will make sure your manly manbird has everything he needs for effective “wooing.”
As masseuse, you will always be there to provide soothing neck scratches on demand.
As masseuse, you will always be there to provide soothing neck scratches on demand.
Most of all, as a large featherless assistant, you can give your client what is most needed in this world - love.
Above all, as a large featherless assistant, you can give your client what is most needed in this world – love.

Author: Shannon Cutts
Co-Author: Pearl Cutts

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