Day 58: Field Observations

Being a field observer (with feathers) allows you to witness and document all kinds of strange interspecies behaviors.

For instance, amongst the featherless beings, they typically tend to increase personal grooming efforts around certain times of year.

Sometimes this can spill over to you.

For instance, even though you already preen your feathers and groom your entire body (from crest to tail!) daily, your large featherless assistant sometimes still insists you also take a shower before your flock’s annual winter holiday gathering.

Sheesh.

Luckily, there are a variety of effective tactics you can employ to repel this initiative.

Simply ignoring her and her repetitive (irritating) requests to "step up" can sometimes be enough.
Simply ignoring her and her repetitive (irritating) requests to “step up” can sometimes be enough.
If that doesn't work, pretending you have no idea whom she means when she says "step up" is another great tactic.
If that doesn’t work, pretending you have no idea whom she means when she says “step up” is another great tactic.
Pretending to be exhausted can evoke her sympathy and make her forget all about the shower out of concern for you.
Feigning exhaustion can evoke her sympathy and distract her from the whole shower scenario.
Actually falling asleep in the shower is perhaps the most definitive way of saying "I'm already very clean - so clean I have extra time to nap."
Actually falling asleep while she’s repeating “step up” is your last-resort strategy – seeing as how, if you’re snoring, you can’t possibly be showering too.

Author: Shannon Cutts
Co-Author: Pearl Cutts

p.s. For more than 70 full length feature stories about our fab and feathery star that will be available nowhere else, reserve your personal copy of Pearl’s new book today! CLICK TO RESERVE YOUR COPY

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