Thursday Thriller: Pearl Cutts in “Can I Get a Witness?”

There is a common myth about “black ops” super-secret spies. Not all of them are good at interviewing witnesses.

While most secret agents are good at routine things like surveillance, it takes a professional at a whole different level to get the right information out of the right witness at the right moment.

Agents with this skill set (such as the near-mythical .007 himself) are in high demand. Often, even if they are very, well, pint-sized, in person, their reputation sure seems larger than life!

Love & Feathers is proud to present the world-famous and feathery black-ops agent, er, actor Pearl Cutts in his latest one-avian play:

“Can I Get a Witness?”

For this show, fans are not permitted to just show up at the box office and hope to get a ticket at the last minute. They either have to purchase their tickets in advance or they are out of luck.

Needless to say, this show sells out particularly speedily! There is no loitering at the theater entrance, either. Fans that arrive too early to queue up are sent away and told to come back when the doors open.

The moment every ticket holder is present and accounted for, the pint-sized star strides onstage and heads right for a very short brown being.

Hello there. I hear you are the “witness.” I want you to tell me everything you know right away no waiting.
Yes, “right away no waiting” is a technical term. Because I said so, that’s why. No, you can’t have time to think about it some more.
Negotiation? Not on my watch. It’s coming up on my contractually stipulated “snack break” and I never miss my snack break.
Well, okay, look, since this is already taking far too long, here’s a negotiation for you. You can either tell me what you know this instant – or I’ll take my snack break right here and now!
Yes, I know I’m a very good negotiator. Hang on a minute, let me get my large featherless typist to take down your testimony……”MOOOOM!”

The mysterious being known only as “Mom” (or “MOOOOM” in this case) hurries onstage and scoops up the short brown being in one hand.

She offers the other hand to her petite feathery VIP client, who hops on, en route to his much-anticipated snack break.

The End.

GreenHeart

Shannon & Pearl

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