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Day 245: Prettiness Polls

Every year, hordes of featherless beings spend stacks of that green crunchy paper trying to alter and streamline their round shapes.

Yet new breaking research suggests that round, feathery shapes actually score highest in “prettiness polls.”

While this may not change behavior anytime soon in the ones without feathers (who tend to be rather slow to catch on to these things anyway) poll after poll continues to confirm the validity of this new research.

As such, for beings who desire to enhance their personal prettiness, the research team heading up these ground-breaking studies is now recommending the addition of more feathers rather than further attempts to eradicate roundness.

This, they state, will produce much more favorable results in future polls.

The expert researcher (with feathers) prepares for another round of grueling data collection.
The expert researcher (with feathers) prepares for another round of grueling data collection.
It is important to be impartial by examining prettiness from every angle.
It is important to be impartial by examining round, feathery prettiness from every angle.
Having reliable (and extra shiny) research tools is also essential.
Having reliable (and extra shiny) research tools is also essential.
At a certain point when the basic data collection is done, it is time to get your large featherless assistant to collate your findings.
At a certain point when the basic data collection is done, it is time to get your large featherless assistant to collate your findings into something called a “white paper” (you’ve asked her, of course, to choose the crispiest white paper she can find for this important task.)
You may also want to include some visual images so readers know what you mean when you refer to "round, feathery prettiness."
You may also want to include some visual images in your “white paper” so readers know what you mean when you refer to “round, feathery prettiness.”
Research complete, all that remains is to pose for your official "biography" photo, which journalists will require when they disseminate your research.
Research complete, all that remains is to pose for your official “biography” photo, which journalists will ask for when they distribute your research results to the eager masses.

Author: Shannon Cutts
Co-Author: Pearl Cutts

 

 

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