Thursday Thriller: Presenting Pearl Cutts in “Who Are You?”

When you are very fetching and feathery and you are a famous actor, everyone always wants to meet you.

For some, it is a hope of basking in the reflected glamour of living the star-studded life.

For others, it is a desire to experience how wonderful it would be to be born with feathers.

But for most, it is just because you are so cute and pretty and irresistible.

So when you meet a being who seems less keen to engage in a meet-and-greet, this really gets your attention (especially since you are also a covert “black-ops” specialist, although of course your fans don’t know this.)

On that note, Love & Feathers is proud to present the famous and feathery actor Pearl Cutts in his latest one-avian play:

“Who Are You?”

The curtain is pulled tightly shut. The audience is ushered in to get settled, and the moment their featherless booties hit the seats, the houselights go up.

WAY up.

The curtain is slowly pulled back to reveal….a lone being at center stage. The being has a strange orange-brown color and is oddly flat.

After everyone has had a good look, the houselights are dimmed again and the star appears (here, the usual 5-minute waiting period is observed to allow fans to faint and come to again so they don’t miss the start of the play).

Hello! You look so familiar - I am sure we have met before.
Hello! You look so familiar – I am sure we have met before. My name is Pearl. I am a famous and feathery actor. What is your name?
Your name is "Anonymous?"
Your name is “Anonymous?” Are you sure?  Nope. I’m not buying it. I know we’ve met. And what is that delectable…..scent…..?
Well if you won't give me your name, I'll have to use my other senses to figure it out.
Well if you won’t give me your name, I’ll just have to use my other senses to figure it out.
Nom, nom, nom.....ah! I've got it! You are "Waffle!" No sense trying to hide from a "black-ops" agent, you know. We always (er) waffle the truth out of you one way or another....
Nom, nom, nom…..aha! I’ve got it. You are “Waffle!” No sense trying to hide from a “black-ops” agent, you know. We always (er) waffle the truth out of you one way or another….
Although usually the truth doesn't taste this good....
Although usually the truth doesn’t taste this good….

The star wanders off stage, clearly quite full and ready for his contractually stipulated “nap break.” He can be heard muttering to himself about “flavor profile” and “crispy crunchiness” as he tucks his soft head under one equally soft wing….

The MommyGuard walks on stage to quietly announce the end of the play. She asks everyone to exit as silently as possible so as not to disturb the hard-working star’s nap time.

The. End.

GreenHeart

Shannon & Pearl

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