Day 278: A Very Stealthy Redfoot Tortoise

Being born with cute red dots guarantees you are going to be an original. They broke the mold when you got made. But all those red dots tend to draw attention to you whether you want it or not. It is very hard to hide “cuteness.” Luckily, it is not impossible. One good method isContinue reading “Day 278: A Very Stealthy Redfoot Tortoise”

Day 275: The Big Girl Tortoise Door

Every being is little when they are born. Even very large little beings will get much larger as they grow up. And very small (silver dollar-sized) beings will also get bigger as they get older. Getting bigger comes with lots of perks. For example, you might get a bigger water dish….heck, a whole bowl onceContinue reading “Day 275: The Big Girl Tortoise Door”

Day 272: Little Tortoise, Big Lettuce

In the world of the large shell-less beings, there is a fascination with very large snacks. Yet even with snacks being one of the few fascinations your two species seem to share in common, you can nevertheless spot a few potential problems right off the bat. For starters, when a snack is that sizable, youContinue reading “Day 272: Little Tortoise, Big Lettuce”

Day 269: The Spookiest Cute Tortoise Nostrils

The large shell-less beings have some decidedly odd traditions. For instance, once per year, they all wake up one morning and go into what can only be called some type of collective identity crisis. No doubt frantic to conceal or otherwise remedy the ongoing lack of a shell (an essential accessory for both function andContinue reading “Day 269: The Spookiest Cute Tortoise Nostrils”

Day 266: The Tortoise and the Compliments

When you choose to live in an interspecies flock, you will quickly start to notice key differences between you and some of your flock mates. Take compliments, for example. Your flock mates span the gamut in this department. While your large shell-less assistant becomes visibly uncomfortable upon presentation of the (admittedly rare) compliment, your small featheryContinue reading “Day 266: The Tortoise and the Compliments”

Day 263: Little Tortoise Grows Up

Choosing one of the large shell-less beings to be your assistant guarantees you can have a lot of fun on a daily basis. For example, let’s say it gets very cold outside and your assistant gets busy setting up your indoor boudoir – complete with all your favorite snoozing accessories. Inside, you find your stinkyContinue reading “Day 263: Little Tortoise Grows Up”

Day 260: That Redfoot Tortoise Tongue

When you are born round on all sides, there are no bad angles. All your sides are good sides. All perspectives are equally photogenic. And if that wasn’t already enough – then you open up your adorable round redfoot tortoise mouth (which is located right below your adorable round nostrils) and show the world yourContinue reading “Day 260: That Redfoot Tortoise Tongue”

Day 257: Tortoise Transforms Into the Lettuce Pirate

As everyone knows, the annual “Day O’ Treats” is fast approaching. But in order to get the most treats, you have to dress up as something really fearsome. This way, the other beings will become paralyzed with fear when you approach. They will then drop their treats and you can scarf them up. For expediency’sContinue reading “Day 257: Tortoise Transforms Into the Lettuce Pirate”

Day 254: Tortoise Has Resting Blackberry Face

In the world of the large shell-less beings, there is such a thing as “table manners.” Talk about a totally outdated concept. If you really like something, the best reward is to show it. The chef will be happy, the delicacy will be delighted, and you will experience excellent digestion by making each meal aContinue reading “Day 254: Tortoise Has Resting Blackberry Face”

Day 251: A Red Dotted Tortoise

Life in an interspecies flock near-guarantees you will soon discover you are more alike than different…and often in some quite startling ways. Take favorite colors, for instance. Everyone in your little flock has one (although in some cases, there is no accounting for taste). Your large shell-less assistant loves anything in blue. Boring. Your smallContinue reading “Day 251: A Red Dotted Tortoise”

Day 248: The Scent of a Tortoise

If there is one thing shelled beings have in abundance (besides “cuteness” of course) it is self-esteem. After all, when you are born as a cute, smart, compact and remarkably self-sufficient red-footed tortoise, what’s not to love about being you? That fragrance you are emitting? It is the exotic “eau de tortoise,” of course. AndContinue reading “Day 248: The Scent of a Tortoise”

Day 245: Tortoise Trades in Solitude for Snacks

It has been rumored that the flockwide large shell-less assistant is an introvert. Clearly, the paparazzi’s latest “insider-in-the-know” source has been giving out some very bad information. It is true that she may be somewhat solitary by her own species’ standards, but clearly that doesn’t apply when she catches sight of you. While your speciesContinue reading “Day 245: Tortoise Trades in Solitude for Snacks”

Day 242: A Tortoise and Her Tortoise

As a small shelled being, it doesn’t take much time living in an interspecies flock to realize your large shell-less flock member needs a lot of togetherness time. Being more of a laid-back sort yourself, this can create some logistical headaches. For example, sometimes she will show up, eager for more of your signature brandContinue reading “Day 242: A Tortoise and Her Tortoise”

Day 239: The Begging Tortoise

There is a reason shelled beings have a reputation for preferring solitary life. When you find choice victuals, you don’t have to share. Flock life has its merits, but sooner or later you are going to find yourself staring down that time-honored flock ritual called “waiting your turn.” Yuck. If tortoises were meant to takeContinue reading “Day 239: The Begging Tortoise”

Day 236: The Case of the Missing Tortoise Snacks

Everyone knows that snacks can be slippery. Just like any prey species, they have a tendency to sneak away if you take your eyes off them. The more, well, seasoned the snacks get, the better they become at hiding right out in plain sight. You could be sitting right on top of them and notContinue reading “Day 236: The Case of the Missing Tortoise Snacks”

Day 233: Little Tortoise Crunching

Some beings pop out of the egg and can just sing. Others emerge with a whole repertoire of fancy schmancy dance moves already downloaded and ready to rock. Still others are all about whipping up culinary masterpieces, crafting world-class art, solving immense sums in their head…each feat more remarkable than the last and all seeminglyContinue reading “Day 233: Little Tortoise Crunching”

Day 230: The Small Spiky Tortoise

When you’re ancient, you can feel it in your bones….literally. Every tiny but mighty footprint you take evokes the legends of the mighty and enormous beings you predated and then outlived. If that popular so-called “reality” show about survival that the large shell-less beings seem to favor accepted shelled contestants, there is no doubt whoContinue reading “Day 230: The Small Spiky Tortoise”

Day 227: The Tortoise and the Trees

Having a shell on your back usually means you aren’t ever going to win any height contests. Nope. The trees will stay high and you will stay low and that is just fine by you both. Even though you and your cozy shell don’t prefer to do any actual climbing, it can still be niceContinue reading “Day 227: The Tortoise and the Trees”


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