312: Waffle Guarding 101

There is nothing like the sight of soft, fluffy feathers to send the paparazzi into a flashbulb-popping frenzy. While this can have its advantages (fame, fortune, the slavish devotion of an ever-expanding horde of large featherless minions), there are often some drawbacks as well. Chief among these is the increased level of difficulty with guarding scrumptiousContinueContinue reading “312: Waffle Guarding 101”

Day 311: Extreme Hip Climbing

In the world of “extreme sports,” many enthusiasts don’t have any wings. Yet they still (er) flock in droves to participate in sports activities with names like “sky diving,” “wind surfing,” and “paragliding” (this last where you strap yourself to something called a “wing” and wait for a gust of wind to do what it doesContinueContinue reading “Day 311: Extreme Hip Climbing”

Day 310: The “Pounce Now” Rule

Part of developing expert hunting skills is to adopt a proactive approach to prey. Here, what matters most is that you claim it….you can always decide afterwards if you want it or not. In other words: “Pounce now, ask questions later.” Author: Shannon Cutts Co-Author: Pearl Cutts  

Day 309: The Nose Plant

In general (and regardless of what species you are) the “face plant” is an experience you most likely want to do your best to avoid. Luckily, the same does not hold true for the face plant’s much classier cousin, the “nose plant.” This little-known expert maneuver is one only a few elite gourmands worldwide can successfullyContinueContinue reading “Day 309: The Nose Plant”

Day 308: More Food Bowl Basics

Yesterday’s class on “Food Bowl Basics” covered the fundamentals of repelling mealtime moochers. However, since beings with feathers typically get offered the choicest portions of any dish, there are times a moocher may become so persistent secondary protocols are required. (NOTE TO STUDENTS: This is an advanced course – these tactics are highly classified and only students whoContinueContinue reading “Day 308: More Food Bowl Basics”

Day 307: Food Bowl Basics

There is no doubt being born feathery means being born with an extra dose of good fortune. Sheer “cuteness” alone brings all kinds of perks. But all the attention, the glamour, the fans, the pure poshness, can also attract moochers. For this reason, even the most generous of avian gourmands should complete a training course called “FoodContinueContinue reading “Day 307: Food Bowl Basics”

Day 306: Conversations About Crust

Species aside, nearly all beings have an opinion on that most critical of culinary topics: “Is the pizza middle or the pizza crust the tastiest?” Because emotions run high and conversations can get quite (um) heated, it is often best to bring in a skilled mediator to settle the debate. When the mediator (with feathers) arrives,ContinueContinue reading “Day 306: Conversations About Crust”

Day 305: Invasion of the Greens Snatcher

When I was little, occasionally my dad and I would watch “Invasion of the Body Snatchers” together. The plot was simple enough – seed pods germinate into aliens, which then take over the lives of hapless nearby sleeping humans. While the original film never directly addressed pod extermination measures, modern reinterpretations (by talented actors withContinueContinue reading “Day 305: Invasion of the Greens Snatcher”

Day 304: A Walnut-Flavored U.F.O.

Living life with a featherless being has its perks. For one thing, no two days will ever be exactly the same. Some days you may wake up to discover the menu tastes as predictable as ever. But then other days, you may find yourself face-to-face with a U.F.O…. Unidentified. Flavorful. Object. In these cases, it is a goodContinueContinue reading “Day 304: A Walnut-Flavored U.F.O.”

Day 303: Sharing is Caring

In the wild, the mightiest predators (lions, polar bears, et al) are often surprisingly generous about sharing. They can afford to be. Since they can bring down most anything they feel like ingesting, it is like being first in line at a variety buffet. They take their favorite bits and leave the other items for (less mighty)ContinueContinue reading “Day 303: Sharing is Caring”